KUALA LUMPUR, Aug 30 — The reported deaths of four family members in Desa ParkCity are a tragic reminder that the impact of a love scam can extend far beyond financial losses, says scam awareness advocate and Former Assistant Principal Director (Strategic Planning), Commercial Crime Investigation Department (CCID) Bukit Aman officer retired ACP Lai Lee Ching.

Media reports dated Aug 28 stated that police were investigating whether losses and debts amounting to about RM260,000 were connected to the tragedy.

With investigations still ongoing, Lai stressed that the circumstances must not be subjected to speculation or premature conclusions.

However, she said the case highlights the potentially devastating consequences of scams on victims’ mental health, family relationships and overall stability.

“A love scam is never simply a financial crime. It can become a form of psychological captivity in which emotional attachment, secrecy, shame and financial pressure reinforce one another,” she said.

Lai said romance scammers typically do not begin by asking victims for large amounts of money.

Instead, they often begin with attention, companionship and emotional validation before gradually building trust and emotional dependency.

Once the relationship appears genuine, the scammer may introduce an emergency, investment opportunity, medical expense, travel problem or business difficulty.

One payment can then lead to another, supported by convincing explanations, photographs, documents, promises and emotional pressure.

Victims may find it increasingly difficult to break away because of emotional attachment, sunk-cost thinking and fear of admitting that they have been deceived.

Lai said family members and friends should therefore avoid humiliating or ridiculing victims, as this could drive them further into isolation and strengthen their dependence on the scammer.

“Intervention must be firm, but compassionate. The objective is not to win an argument. It is to protect the victim, interrupt the scammer’s psychological control and prevent further losses,” she said.

At the same time, Lai emphasised that financial loss or betrayal could never justify violence.

“If anger, threats, self-harm or violence emerge, the matter must immediately be treated as a safety emergency, with assistance sought from the police, emergency services and trusted family members,” she said.

AI May Help Detect Warning Signs

Lai said public awareness campaigns alone may not be sufficient to prevent scams because recognising a scam in theory is very different from identifying one while emotionally involved.

She said vigilance must become a practical skill. Artificial intelligence (AI), she added, could be used as an early-warning tool as criminals increasingly exploit technology to create realistic profiles, cloned voices, deepfake videos, personalised messages and convincing documents.

“A video call, familiar voice, corporate logo, signature or official-looking stamp can no longer automatically be accepted as conclusive proof of identity,” she said.

According to Lai, members of the public can also use AI to question suspicious claims and identify matters requiring independent verification.

AI could assist users by identifying emotional manipulation, urgency and secrecy in conversations, comparing claims for inconsistencies, highlighting suspicious features in photographs or documents, and suggesting questions that should be independently verified.

However, she cautioned against treating AI as the final authority.

“AI can make mistakes. Use AI to identify what must be verified, not to decide whether someone is genuine,” she said.

Families Need Early Intervention

Lai recommended that families take several immediate steps when they suspect a loved one may be involved in a romance scam.

These include speaking privately and calmly with the person, identifying two or three specific inconsistencies rather than making broad accusations, and requesting a 48-hour pause on further payments.

With the account holder’s cooperation, families should also consider securing banking access and reducing transfer limits.

If money has already been transferred, the victim or family should contact the National Scam Response Centre (NSRC) or 997 hotline immediately.

All evidence—including messages, receipts, social media profiles, telephone numbers and documents—should also be preserved.

Lai said any threats, expressions of desperation, self-harm or violence should be treated as an emergency rather than simply a financial dispute.

Businesses Also Have a Role

Lai said scam prevention should involve the whole community, including banks, employers, dating platforms, community organisations and families.

She also highlighted the role of businesses involved in high-value transactions, including jewellery, luxury watches, motor vehicles and car rentals.

Criminal proceeds may be used to purchase valuable goods that can subsequently be resold, transferred or converted into cash.

Payments may also involve stolen credit facilities, compromised accounts, mule accounts or funds transferred by victims acting under scammers’ instructions.

Businesses receiving such payments could face payment reversals, frozen funds, reputational damage or investigation as authorities trace suspected criminal proceeds.

“Being investigated does not automatically mean a business owner is guilty. However, an investigation can still cause significant operational and financial disruption,” she said.

Lai said employees in high-value businesses should therefore be trained to recognise warning signs, including payments made by someone other than the buyer, the use of multiple cards or accounts for a single purchase, unusually large transactions inconsistent with a customer’s profile, and customers who appear to be continuously receiving instructions through a telephone or messaging application.

Other red flags include requests to split payments, attempts to bypass normal verification procedures, and unusual urgency to collect, transfer or resell an item.

Businesses should implement appropriate identity and payment verification procedures in accordance with the law, while avoiding unnecessary collection of personal information or humiliating genuine customers.

More importantly, Lai said businesses should have a clear channel through which employees can obtain guidance or report suspicious transactions.

A coordinated referral mechanism involving banks, relevant regulators and law-enforcement agencies could allow merchants to raise concerns quickly, rather than expecting employees to conduct their own investigation.

“The critical question is: when a suspicious customer or transaction appears, does the employee know whom to contact—and is there a channel that will respond quickly?” she said.

Ask What Warning Signs Were Missed

Lai said society should move away from blaming victims and instead focus on strengthening early intervention.

“Instead of asking, ‘How could someone believe a scammer?’, we should ask, ‘What warning signs did we miss?’” she said.

“We should also ask how we can make it safer for victims to seek help, and how quickly families, banks, businesses and authorities can intervene before money, trust and lives are lost.”

Lai urged the public to adopt a simple rule before making any significant transfer of money:

Stop. Think. Verify. Talk to someone before you transfer.